Why does she see him as perfect and me as flawed?

Let me be brutally honest with you - this comparison game is rigged against you from the start. You're fighting an unfair battle where you represent reality and he represents fantasy.

Think about it: You're the one who comes home tired from work, deals with the broken dishwasher, argues about money, and handles the stress of real life. You're human, with flaws, bad days, and moments when you're not at your best. That's normal in any marriage.

Meanwhile, the other man exists in a bubble. Their interactions are stolen moments, exciting conversations, and carefully orchestrated encounters. He doesn't have to deal with your wife when she's sick, stressed about work, or worried about the kids. He gets the highlight reel while you get the director's cut - including all the deleted scenes.

This isn't about your inadequacy. It's about the intoxicating nature of forbidden relationships. Affairs thrive on secrecy, novelty, and the absence of real responsibility. When someone is living a double life, they're essentially comparing a part-time fantasy to a full-time reality.

Your wife has also likely rewritten your marriage history to justify her choices. Suddenly, your strengths become weaknesses in her mind. Your reliability becomes boring. Your dedication becomes taking you for granted. Your love becomes suffocating. This mental gymnastics helps her feel less guilty about her betrayal.

The other man appears perfect because he hasn't been tested by real life yet. He hasn't had to comfort her through a family crisis, make tough financial decisions together, or navigate the challenges that make or break relationships. He's playing marriage on easy mode while you've been in the trenches.

Scripture warns us about the deceptive nature of sin and how it distorts our perception. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, *'The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?'* Your wife's heart has been deceived by the temporary pleasures of sin.

Hebrews 11:25 speaks of *'the fleeting pleasures of sin,'* which perfectly describes the affair dynamic. What feels perfect now will reveal itself as hollow and destructive. The other man seems perfect because sin always packages itself attractively at first.

Paul addresses this in 2 Corinthians 11:14: *'Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.'* The enemy uses attractive packages to deliver destructive content. This other man appears as light in your wife's darkness, but he's actually leading her further into deception.

Proverbs 14:12 warns: *'There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.'* Your wife believes she's found something better, but she's walking toward relational and spiritual death. Her perception of perfection is a mirage.

Remember Romans 8:28: *'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.'* Even this painful comparison can be used by God to refine you and strengthen your character.

Finally, 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us to *'be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.'* The enemy is using this comparison to devour your self-worth and destroy your marriage. Don't let him win.