Internal Work

8 questions

How do I deal with intrusive images?

Intrusive images after [discovering infidelity](/answers/after-the-affair/my-wife-is-having-an-affair-what-do-i-do-first) are normal trauma responses ...

Why do I compare myself to him obsessively?

You compare yourself obsessively because your brain is trying to make sense of a devastating blow to your identity and worth. When your [wife chose an...

What is 'mind movies' and how do I stop them?

Mind movies are the involuntary, vivid mental images that play in your head about your spouse's affair - visualizing them together, imagining conversa...

Why does sex feel contaminated now?

Sex feels contaminated because betrayal has violated the sacred space of your marriage bed. When your spouse has been intimate with someone else, it n...

How do I reclaim our intimacy?

Reclaiming intimacy after an affair requires intentional action from both spouses, but it starts with your own heart work. True intimacy isn't just ph...

What is post-affair sexual healing?

Post-affair sexual healing is the intentional process of rebuilding physical and emotional intimacy after infidelity has damaged the marriage. It invo...

How do I know if my hypervigilance is appropriate or pathological?

Appropriate [hypervigilance](/answers/after-the-affair/what-is-hypervigilance-and-why-am-i-doing-it) after an affair is time-limited, purposeful, and ...

When does wanting to know become obsessive?

The line between healthy curiosity and obsession crosses when your need to know consumes your daily functioning, disrupts sleep, dominates conversatio...