Psychological Depth

8 questions

What is 'repetition compulsion'?

Repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon where you unconsciously repeat destructive patterns, behaviors, or [relationship dynamics](/answer...

Am I recreating something from my past?

Yes, you very likely are recreating something from your past - and recognizing this is the first step toward freedom. Most of us unconsciously repeat ...

What is the 'inner critic' and why does it sabotage?

Your inner critic is that harsh internal voice that constantly judges, criticizes, and undermines your efforts - especially in [marriage](/answers/bec...

What parts of me resist change?

The parts of you that resist change are usually protective mechanisms developed over years of experience. Your ego fears losing control, your wounded ...

What is 'secondary gain' from destructive behavior?

Secondary gain is the hidden, unconscious benefit you get from continuing destructive behaviors in your marriage. While the behavior clearly damages y...

What does my pattern protect me from?

Your [destructive patterns](/answers/becoming-the-man/how-do-i-break-destructive-patterns) aren't random—they're sophisticated defense systems protect...

What would I have to face if I actually changed?

The fear of what we'd have to face if we actually changed is often what keeps us trapped in [destructive patterns](/answers/becoming-the-man/how-do-i-...

What is self-sabotage serving?

[Self-sabotage in marriage](/answers/becoming-the-man/what-parts-of-me-resist-change) typically serves three hidden purposes: protection from vulnerab...