Will she leave me for him?

Here's what most men don't understand: the other man isn't your real competition. Your real competition is the version of yourself you've been for the past few years. When a wife becomes emotionally or physically involved with another man, she's often responding to unmet needs, unresolved conflicts, or a pattern of disconnection in the marriage.

The other man represents what feels missing: attention, appreciation, excitement, emotional connection, or simply feeling desired. He gets the benefit of being new, mysterious, and unburdened by years of marriage baggage. But here's the reality - that honeymoon phase doesn't last.

Statistics show that relationships born from affairs have a failure rate of over 90%. Most women who leave their marriages for another man find themselves disappointed within two years. Why? Because they discover the same issues that existed in their character and relationship patterns follow them into the new relationship.

But right now, your wife isn't thinking about statistics. She's thinking about how she feels. If she's considering leaving, it's because the marriage has become a source of pain, boredom, or frustration, while this other relationship feels like relief or excitement.

The good news: This crisis can become the catalyst for the marriage you both actually want. Many of the strongest marriages I've worked with went through a season like this. The key is responding with wisdom instead of panic, strength instead of desperation, and strategic action instead of emotional reaction.

Your wife is watching how you handle this crisis. Are you becoming a better man, or are you staying the same while just trying harder? Are you addressing the real issues, or just trying to compete with surface-level gestures? The answers to these questions will largely determine whether she stays or goes.

Scripture doesn't sugarcoat the reality of marital crisis, but it offers a framework for both understanding and redemption. 'Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it' (Proverbs 4:23). This applies to both you and your wife - hearts that aren't guarded become vulnerable to deception and poor choices.

'Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her' (Ephesians 5:25). This isn't about grand gestures or competing with another man. It's about sacrificial, consistent, daily love that seeks her highest good. Most marital crises happen because this foundation has been neglected.

But Scripture also calls for wisdom in crisis: 'The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps' (Proverbs 14:15). Don't make decisions based on fear, desperation, or false hope. Face the reality of your situation while working toward restoration.

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding' (Proverbs 3:5-6). You can't control your wife's choices, but you can control your response. Focus on becoming the man God is calling you to be, regardless of the outcome.

Remember, 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him' (Romans 8:28). Even this crisis can become part of God's plan to strengthen your character, deepen your faith, and potentially restore your marriage. But restoration requires repentance, change, and often professional guidance to navigate the complex emotions and decisions ahead.