Clinical Framework

What is 'emotional disengagement'?

Emotional disengagement is a protective mechanism where your wife mentally and emotionally withdraws from the [marriage](/answers/becoming-the-man/wha...

What's the difference between conflict and disengagement?

Conflict is active engagement - even when it's heated, both people are still emotionally invested and fighting for the relationship. Disengagement is ...

What are Gottman's signs of 'turning away'?

Dr. John Gottman's research identifies 'turning away' as one of the most damaging patterns in marriage. It occurs when partners consistently fail to r...

What does research say about emotional disconnection patterns?

Research consistently shows that [emotional disconnection](/answers/she-wants-out/how-long-has-she-been-thinking-about-this) follows predictable patte...

What is the 'pursuer-distancer' dynamic?

The pursuer-distancer dynamic is a destructive relationship pattern where one partner (the pursuer) seeks connection through increasing efforts to eng...

What is 'flooded' and did she shut down because of it?

Being 'flooded' refers to when your wife's nervous system becomes completely overwhelmed during intense emotional situations, particularly conflict. W...

What's the difference between her being withdrawn and being done?

The difference between withdrawal and being done is like the difference between winter and death - one is temporary, the other is permanent. When she'...

How do I assess how far gone she is?

Assessing your wife's level of disconnection requires looking at specific behavioral and emotional indicators. The key markers include: how she respon...