What if she works with him?

The workplace affair scenario is one of the most challenging situations in marriage recovery. Unlike other affairs that can be cleanly severed, workplace relationships create ongoing contact that undermines every attempt at healing.

Here's what makes this so difficult: Every day your wife goes to work, you're wondering what's happening. Every late meeting, every business trip, every casual mention of workplace activities becomes a potential trigger. Meanwhile, she's in an environment where she sees this person regularly, creating opportunities for rekindled feelings or continued emotional connection.

The "just being professional" approach rarely works. I've seen too many couples try this middle-ground solution, thinking they can manage the situation through willpower and good intentions. What actually happens is that the daily interaction prevents the necessary emotional detachment from occurring. Small conversations lead to shared projects, which lead to private discussions about the awkwardness, which often reignite the connection.

Your wife may resist making a job change for legitimate reasons—career advancement, financial concerns, specialized skills, or simply the difficulty of finding new employment. These are real concerns that deserve consideration, but they cannot override the marriage's need for a clean break from the affair partner.

Some couples try creative solutions: different departments, different shifts, or having the other person relocate. While these might provide some distance, they often don't create enough separation for true healing. The person is still in the same building, still part of the same organization, still potentially crossing paths.

The bottom line is this: if your wife is genuinely committed to saving the marriage, she must be willing to prioritize it over career convenience. This might mean financial sacrifice, career disruption, or starting over professionally. These are serious costs, but they pale in comparison to losing your marriage and family.

Scripture is clear about the seriousness of removing sources of temptation and the priority of marriage. Matthew 5:29-30 gives us Jesus's radical teaching: "If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away."

While Jesus is speaking metaphorically, the principle is literal: remove whatever threatens your spiritual and relational health, even if it costs you significantly. A job, no matter how good, is not worth destroying your marriage.

1 Corinthians 6:18 commands us to "flee from sexual immorality." The Greek word for "flee" means to run away quickly, not to manage or control the situation. Continuing to work with an affair partner is the opposite of fleeing—it's remaining in the place of temptation.

Genesis 2:24 establishes that marriage requires leaving other attachments: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This principle applies to any relationship that competes with or threatens the marriage bond.

Proverbs 27:14 warns about the persistence of temptation: "Like a quarrelsome wife is the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainy day." Ongoing contact with an affair partner creates this same kind of persistent erosion of good intentions and marriage commitment.

1 Timothy 6:11 instructs us to "flee from all this" when referring to temptations and pursue righteousness instead. The biblical pattern is clear: when something threatens your spiritual or relational well-being, you don't manage it—you eliminate it.

The marriage covenant, as described in Malachi 2:14, calls the spouse your "companion" and "wife of your covenant." This sacred bond deserves protection above career considerations or personal convenience.