What's happening with my cortisol/adrenaline?

Discovery of an affair triggers what researchers call betrayal trauma - a specific type of psychological injury that occurs when someone we depend on for survival violates our trust. Your spouse isn't just your romantic partner; they're your primary attachment figure, your safety net, your teammate in life. When they betray you, your brain interprets this as a threat to your very survival.

Here's what's happening in your body right now:

Cortisol - your primary stress hormone - is flooding your system at levels 2-3 times higher than normal. This hormone is designed to help you survive immediate danger by increasing blood sugar, suppressing non-essential functions like digestion and reproduction, and keeping you hypervigilant. But when cortisol stays elevated for weeks or months, it wreaks havoc on your sleep, appetite, immune system, and ability to think clearly.

Adrenaline is creating that feeling of being constantly "amped up." Your heart pounds, your hands shake, you feel like you need to DO something but don't know what. This hormone is meant to give you superhuman strength to fight or flee - but there's nowhere to run from betrayal.

Norepinephrine is flooding your brain, creating obsessive thoughts about the affair. You can't stop thinking about details, replaying conversations, checking phone records. This isn't you being "crazy" - it's your brain desperately trying to assess the threat level and regain control.

The cruel irony is that these same hormones that are meant to protect you are now making it harder to heal. High cortisol impairs memory formation and decision-making. Chronic adrenaline exhausts your adrenal glands. The hypervigilance that kept our ancestors alive now keeps you awake at 3 AM, mind racing with questions and fears.

God understands that betrayal affects us physically, not just emotionally. Throughout Scripture, we see how trauma impacts the whole person - body, soul, and spirit.

Psalm 38:3-8 describes physical symptoms that mirror what you're experiencing: *"There is no soundness in my flesh because of your indignation; there is no health in my bones because of my sin... I am utterly spent and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart."* David understood that emotional pain manifests physically.

Proverbs 14:30 tells us that *"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot."* Your body is designed to reflect what's happening in your heart and mind. The stress you're feeling isn't separate from your physical symptoms - they're interconnected.

Matthew 11:28-30 offers Jesus' invitation: *"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."* This isn't just spiritual rest - it's the kind of deep, nervous system rest your body desperately needs.

Psalm 147:3 promises that God *"heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."* The word for "wounds" here refers to physical injuries. God sees your betrayal trauma as real wounds that need real healing.

Isaiah 26:3 gives us the pathway forward: *"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."* Peace isn't just a feeling - it's a neurological state where your stress response system can finally rest.

God didn't design your body to carry this level of stress indefinitely. He built in mechanisms for healing and restoration, and He calls us to be wise stewards of our physical bodies as we walk through trauma recovery.